Hands and Knees
by AngelMoon Girl
Summary: The Senshi return from the ruins of Mugen, but Usagi is still dealing with the fallout from her battle with Pharaoh 90, as well as the loss of baby Hotaru to Sailors Uranus and Neptune. An angsty one-shot that could be considered a 'missing scene' from Sailor Moon S Episode 126.


Disclaimer: I do not own it here or there. I do not own it anywhere! I do not own Sailor Moon. And if you think so, even Seuss would call you a loon!

Author's Note: Right-O, so this short story really just stems from the fact that I'm having SERIOUS writer's block right now and I had to get myself back in the proper mindset. It's an aftermath piece, or maybe more accurately a missing scene from Sailor Moon S episode 126 - in the moments just after Usagi has returned from the depths of Pharaoh 90, baby Hotaru in tow. Cause you know, I'm an angst whore and I just want more more more!

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 **Hands and Knees**

* * *

It is as if every muscle in her weeps with release the second her knees buckle and hit hard, scorched earth. Usagi exhales shakily, pouring every ounce of her waning strength into not losing hold of this small warm bundle still wonderfully, safely, _miraculously_ in her grasp. How it was possible; how she was able to rescue Hotaru from the depths of Silence itself is still beyond her. She's not sure if she's just exhausted past the point of mental efficacy, or if perhaps her brain is shielding her from the dark horrors just endured. Either way, Usagi welcomes the absolute numbness of thought.

"Sailor Moon!"

There's the clacking of heel on rock and then Sailors Neptune and Uranus come into view, kneeling beside her fallen figure. Usagi wants to protest when Neptune silently eases the tiny baby out of her arms that feel like clobbered jelly, but she just fought her way out of what felt like Hell itself and now there is no fight left in her.

They're gone again before she can even fully raise her head.

" _Sailor Moon_!"

Usagi can't immediately identify who utters the cry, which is far more startled and fearful than the last. But she recognizes the red fuku of the guardian who reaches her first, and realizes she must look quite the sight if even Mars is treating her with tender fingers and a concerned bedside manner.

Other hands join the fray, helping to guide her to her feet. She trembles under the strain.

"Sailor Moon!"

"Hang in there!"

"Are you alright?"

"Hold onto my shoulder."

Dutifully, she grabs Mercury, grateful for the support. She can hear the tap-tap-tap of the mini computer, as the aforementioned guardian of wisdom and water measures her vitals. The rest of the girls continue to bombard her with questions on her well-being, their voices echoing around this place where a prestigious school once stood but now is just craters and rubble. A ground zero. To Usagi, it is simply too much. She squeezes her eyes shut and winces against the onslaught of noise as it reverberates in her aching head, awakening other pains in other parts of her body that she - up until this point - had been steadfastly ignoring.

For Hotaru's sake.

But now her arms are empty and she knows she should feel the weight of that loss, should be more worried about baby Hotaru's whereabouts, and that will come. Later, when she is finally able to process all that has happened. But right now, in her currently befuddled state of mind, there is only one child that steals Usagi's thoughts. Her face flickers to life in Usagi's mind, bright and cherubic and smiling. Then it is replaced by a more recent memory - cold, lifeless features, frail body too pale as it lay cradled in the grips of her savior.

"Chibi-Usa. Mamo-chan," Usagi gasps, a thrill of fear racing into her chest. Jupiter's hand steadies her when she stumbles, trying to walk yet feeling like a colt on new legs.

"Take it easy," the brawny warrior warns, but Usagi is not listening. She can hardly hear over the panic pounding in her ears, her mind set upon one track.

"I need to see them!"

She feels the guise of Super Sailor Moon slipping, too weak to maintain the transformation. It reverts back into her original suit; to the familiar reds and blues. Which she knows, must look even worse for the wear after being yanked through a portal and blasted to kingdom come. But she cannot care less what her fuku looks like. She wants her beloved and her future daughter, wants to ensure that destroying Pharaoh 90 brought back Chibi-Usa's heart crystal, and by God she's going to get to them even if she has to drag her battered body across Juban on hands and knees.

It's looking like that's going to be the case when yet another attempt at walking produces much the same results as before. Usagi exclaims in frustration; some tired, nonsensical babble about needing a suit with a pair of wings. Then she starts, when Jupiter suddenly hoists her up onto her back like the odango-headed blonde weighs nothing at all.

"Who needs wings when you've got me," Jupiter chuckles.

"But you're hurt too-" Usagi mumbles, trying to wiggle off.

"Purely cosmetic," the thunder guardian retorts, and Usagi knows she's not being entirely truthful. "Let me help you, Usagi-chan."

"We'll accompany you to Mamoru-san's," Mercury adds with a nod, apparently satisfied with her computer's diagnoses as she lets it fade back into the pocket of space from whence it came. "We have to get out of here anyway, before the emergency responders and reporters swarm."

"Was anyone...?" Usagi speaks up but cannot complete her sentence, an unfettered fear coloring her query.

"We kept a barrier between Mugen and the city. No civilians were harmed," Mars promises, laying a comforting hand on Usagi's back, in-between the shoulder blades. Usagi breathes a sigh of relief.

"C'mon," Venus says. "I think I hear the sirens."

It's true. Usagi pricks her ears and there it is, off in the distance - the loud undulating wail signaling the emergency vehicles' impending arrival. The girls decide it's best to de-transform so as to draw less attention should they be spotted, and so they morph back into their school uniforms. The shirts and skirts are clean as when they first threw them on yesterday night, and it looks strange, given how bruised and disheveled their uncovered skin is. But none of them remain unsullied for long - they still have to pick and wade their way through clumps of dust and debris to get back onto street level, and by then they blend right in with the rest of the masses. The school may have had time to evacuate before Mugen Academy blew to pieces, but the city is still dealing - still reeling - from the sudden loss of one of their most prominent landmarks. To say the populous was in a widespread state of panic would have been an understatement.

The Senshi dodge news crews and scores of crying bystanders on their journey to Mamoru's apartment. By the time they enter Azabu district, Usagi is feeling far more cogent, and she insists Makoto take a break from "spider monkey duties" and let her walk on her own. It takes some convincing, and the girls still hover annoyingly close, but Usagi finally gets to stand on two feet outside Mamoru's door and that makes her feel better than she has in a while. Like maybe, just maybe, it'll all be okay. The worst, behind them.

Usagi takes a deep breath and raises her fist to knock, but she doesn't even get the chance. It is flung open so wide it nearly bursts off its hinges, and before Usagi can even blink she's being engulfed in a scent so sweet, so earthy, so much like _home_ that tears spring up and prick the corners of her eyes. Happily, she gasps into the mouthful of black shirt,

"Mamo-chan!"

"Usako," the husky reply issues, from somewhere over her head and vibrating down through the chest she clings so fiercely to. She feels his lips claim the top of her flaxen crown, in-between the two odango. His hold on her increases. "You're alright... You're _alright_! I thought... you disappeared on me for a while there..."

His voice is as unsteady as Usagi's emotions. She swallows thickly, knowing exactly to what he is referring. They share a soul bond, a general awareness of the other at all times, so when she plunged into the inky abyss to save Hotaru she is sure his read on her would have gone cold. She can only imagine the terror he must have endured in that moment. Her heart breaks for him all over again.

"I will never leave you," Usagi whispers, as solemn an oath as she's ever made, and she tightens her knuckles around the soft fabric of Mamoru's well-loved old turtleneck. They stay like that for a quiet moment, ignoring the fact that they have an audience, that is until Usagi pulls out of the embrace with a renewed urgency.

"Chibi-Usa! Is she alright now? Does she have her heart crystal back? Where is she!?"

Mamoru calms Usagi's frantic ramblings with one hand to her cheek and gentle shushing motions with the other. "Don't worry, Usako. It's okay. She's fine, everything's fine. All of you, come see!"

Mamoru is full of cheery smiles as he invites them in, leading the Senshi into his small open-plan apartment and over to where his bed rests, tucked beneath the large picture window. Usagi sucks in a breath when she spies the tousled pink hair, draped across a pillow. She rushes forward, dropping to a knee beside the bed and its single occupant, grabbing up the slack hand of her slumbering future daughter. She senses the others drawing nearer too, just behind her, but with enough space so that she doesn't feel encroached upon.

"Her color - it's back to normal!" Ami points out, the rejoice in her voice so powerful it is almost palpable.

"It is," Usagi agrees, parrying tears once more. She sniffles and smooths back the cotton candy colored fringe that sticks to the child's forehead, admiring.

"She's been sleeping deeply ever since..." Here, Mamoru glances at Usagi, who cocks her brow with interest at the hesitant pause. "Well, ever since Saturn's visit."

"Sailor Saturn was here!?" Minako gasps, loudly. Usagi's breath hitches as well.

"Or, some apparition of her," Mamoru amends, with an incline of the head. "I'm really not sure what she was - that's more Rei-san's area of expertise - but she was definitely _not_ corporeal. And she returned Chibi-Usa's heart crystal to her."

"Astral projection," Rei murmurs, eyes miles away as she mulls the possibilities over in her mind. "Hotaru-chan's will to save Chibi-Usa-chan must have been so strong, that she was able to bid the spirit of Sailor Saturn here - even when that should have been next to impossible."

"I felt the intense struggle happening inside Mistress Nine. Hotaru-chan refused give up, no matter how beaten down she was by that witch. If she was able to do the same for Chibi-Usa, then I'm not surprised," Usagi says, eyes welling. She covers her face in her hands, the shame beginning to set in. "She's such a strong girl. And she saved Chibi-Usa's life. I can't believe I just let Haruka-san and Michiru-san take her; who knows what they're doing with her! I have to get her back! I owe her that much!"

Usagi's voice jumps the decibel scale as she laments upon her failures, the reality of the last few hours beginning to sink in with a horrible vengeance. The girls rush to remind her that _no_ , she did _everything possible_ to help Hotaru, she even brought her back from the brink of oblivion for God's sake, and that if they'd been quicker on the uptake they might have been able to head off Haruka and Michiru as well... but in the end, it is Mamoru who truly puts her at ease, in the way only he knows how.

The ebony-headed paladin reaches out with both hands to gently extricate Usagi's from off of her face. He runs his fingers over Usagi's shining cheeks and smiles softly upon her sorrows.

"Usako. You are the best judge of character I have ever met. You know Haruka-san and Michiru-san. When you look into your heart, do you really believe they would bring Hotaru-chan harm?"

Usagi blinks slowly, gazing deep into Mamoru's patient blues, struck by the depth of his surety - in her, in the Outers... it fills her with hope. She smiles back. "No. No, they wouldn't."

Mamoru nods. "Then she's fine, for now. We _will_ find her. But in the meantime, you just saved the world. _Again_. Give yourself time to freshen up, to eat something... be here when Chibi-Usa wakes up. She's going to need you, Usako."

Usagi looks to her daughter, the features so young and innocent in sleep, and she thinks on how Chibi-Usa lately is looking less and less her age when awake. There's a glimmer in her ruby eyes that didn't always used to be there, a troubled crease in her brow, speaking volumes to the pain she has experienced during her short lifetime. Usagi knows how close her offspring and Tomoe Hotaru have become - how Hotaru is in many ways, Chibi-Usa's first real friend - and it's going to absolutely devastate the child to find out her best friend is still missing in action. And that even if they _do_ find her, she will no longer be the shy yet sweet pre-teen Chibi-Usa once remembered.

Usagi sets her jaw, feeling a surge of determination settle in her chest. She grabs Mamoru's hand; gives it an assuring squeeze.

Yes... he's right. Chibi-Usa does need her, and so does Hotaru. The battle is not quite over yet.

And so, she will do what she does best.

Usagi will find a way to save them both - even if she has to get down on hands and knees before Sailors Uranus and Neptune, and beg for the safe return of the warrior of ruin.

 ** _FIN_**


End file.
